At the retreat, we explored the mystical life. One of the least understood portions of this journey is the Dark Night. People often talk about going through their dark night. In most cases they refer to a difficult time in their human experience; a divorce, life threatening disease, or death of a loved one. However, this is not the Dark Night that St. John of the Cross wrote about, nor the Dark Night that lies before us.

The Dark Night is not about our external world and human life. In fact, it may leave our external world untouched while within us there is strife and pain. The Dark Night is about our spiritual life. It concerns our relationship with God and is the last stage in a mystic's life prior to the mystical marriage.

Before the Dark Night, we feel a oneness with God. We are spending time together. Love is deepening, and our relationship is growing. It is as if we are engaged to be married. We look forward to the day of union, and then suddenly the marriage is off. We don't know why, and there is no opportunity to discover what went wrong. We have the sense that we will never experience the Presence again. We are confused.

There is much pain when an upcoming earthly marriage is canceled. Imagine the pain of believing not only that the mystical marriage is off, but that we will never know God again. (Intellectually, we have an understanding of God that denies this possibility, but intellectual understanding is not helpful now. The profound feeling of loss remains.) Negative emotions flood our being. Unwholesome behaviors that we thought were long gone resurrect themselves. The soul is in anguish. We cry out, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?"

The Dark Night comes upon a person who seeks God above all and who feels a growing relationship with Spirit. There has been joy, peace, and a strong sense of the Presence. This person feels betrothed to God. Better days lie ahead. This is true, but first the Dark Night comes. Its onset is usually gradual, but it can come suddenly.

Most of us are not near this part of the mystical journey, but it will come one day. It is helpful to know our part in the lifting of the Dark Night. Whether it leaves us or not is a matter of grace. In other words, it will not depart because we follow certain prescribed actions, but we have our work to do.

Eventually, the person in the Dark Night decides to love God and give attention to Spirit even though he or she believes this affection will never be returned. It is like an earthly engagement in which the one who is cast off decides to never marry another, but to remain devoted to the beloved.

Dear friend, God loves us this way. How many times have we said no to GodŐs love? The Dark Night calls us to love God as God loves us. If there is to be a mystical marriage, we must love God unconditionally. This is the prayer of adoration and devotion of which the mystics speak. In this kind of prayer, we do not even ask to experience the Presence. We find purpose in loving God whether the love is returned or not. This is the inner meaning of the commandment that we love God with all our mind, heart, soul, and strength.

Even though we may not be in the mystical dark night, this insight has a practical application, and it will prepare us for the great love we must express when our Dark Night comes.

It is interesting that whenever Jesus speaks of prayer, He speaks of forgiveness. He knows that wherever there is unforgiveness, there is a barrier not only to the mystical marriage, but even the simplest sense of oneness with the One. Human experience and its opportunities for forgiveness prepare us for the Dark Night. The challenging people in our lives are opportunities to love in the way necessary to move through the Dark Night.

Can you see the similarity between the mystic's unconditional love of God even though he or she believes the love will never be returned and a typical human being deciding to love someone from afar who will most likely never return that love? This is one of the lessons we are to learn during our time on earth. Loving one another is paramount not only because it builds harmonious, peaceful relationships, but because it prepares us to experience the immense love of God.

Since the only love we truly experience is the love that flows from within us, imagine the joy of one who can love without a thought of return. Imagine what this soul is prepared to do in service of God. This, dear friend, is the life that is before us.

In these ways, we are upon the inner journey which leads to the mystical marriage.
In Love We Journey With You,

Jim and Nancy